"Scar! Wait up!" called my friend Clara. I slowed a little but not much. "What?" I snapped. I had better things to do and Clara was getting on my last nerve. "Did you study for the test? If you want I can help I can study with you during lunch," she said. "No, I'm fine. I studied leave me alone," I said walking away. I never socialized with people more than I have to. I walk into school with no one looking at me. I don't care, I like it that way. Then I can't get hurt. "Hey Scar!" said Chole, she thinks I'm her friend. I know that the school told her to befriend me. I've attempted suicide several times and they are trying to stop me by giving me a friend. I know because I over heard them talking about it. "Hey," is all I can think of to say. "I can't wait for tonight! Did you hear? Sam is throwing a party and it's supposed to be amazing!" Chloe gushed. "I might come, I have to study," I said. I was definitely not coming. "Ok I'll see you there!" said Chloe expecting I'd come. I drift through the rest of the day not talking unless I have to. When I get home I look for anything sharp or a plastic bag. I can't even find one, my parents are really scared that I will die if I want, so they are careful. The last time I tried I was stuck in the hospital for a week. Now they do everything to stop me because they think that eventually, I will stop. I tried acting happy once and like I was over it. They got scared and I went to the hospital. I go so much that the doctors know me by name. My parents don't understand that I don't want to live. That I don't want to deal with my life, that death would be better. "Hey Scar, do you have anything to do? Any homework?" asked my mom. "No," I said. Then it hit me. The party would have knives and all sorts of things. "Mom, Chloe invited me to a party tonight, can I go?" I asked. I knew my mom would say yes. "Sure," she said. When Chloe came to pick me up she didn't suspect a thing. At the party it was loud and there were knives plus other sharp things. I know I can't get a knife so I look for a glass soda bottle. I find one and grab it. Chloe had gone to her other friends. I head out side and smash the bottle where no one can see. I grab a sharp piece that shattered off. It's perfect. I hold it to my wrist. I only manage to make a small cut before I hear a yell that startles me, I drop the glass blade, it shatters when it hits the ground. "What are you doing?" asked a boy looking at me. I can only glare at him. He sees my wrist. "You need a bandage in case it opens more,' he said. "I'm fine," I snap. "You don't look fine," he noted. "Well I am, so go away, I just want to be alone for a second," I lied. It used to be so hard for me to lie, but now I do it so easily I think that if I say it enough it will be true. He left, I found a new blade and cut my wrist than my other not feeling the pain. I walk back into the party. "Hey Scar, where were you? I've been looking for you," said Chloe. "I was outside, I don't like crowds so I went to get some air," I lied. I looked at the ground a second then saw a drop of blood on my finger ready to fall. I clenched my fists but the drop fell. I covered it with my foot. I couldn't stop the blood, more fell until there was a small puddle on both sides of me. "Scar! What did you do?!" Cried, Chloe. People looked at the blood on the floor and dripping from my hands in horror. A few people called 911. "Why? Why did you do it Scar? Why do you do it so much? Why do you want to die?" asked Chloe. "We're friends, do you know how sad I'd be if you die?" asked Chloe. "I do, but I don't care, it's my life and I can end it," I said. I heard sirens. Some people came running in and calling "Where is she? Yes, We're looking now," and so forth. I made no attempt to run like I used to, they would find me and take me to the ER room where doctors would look at me and shake their heads and frown at seeing me again. When I see my parents they have clearly been crying. "Scar, I thought you were getting better, and we thought you would try to make more friends, why do you do it?" asked my mom with tears in her eyes. "We need to make sure her blood isn't poisoned she need laughing gas," said a doctor. I fell into a restless sleep a few seconds later.
When I woke I didn't open my eyes. "She suffered severe trauma when she was little, she wouldn't stop screaming and she wouldn't go anywhere alone. We couldn't put her in so much pain, so we wiped her memory. She was never the same after she twelveth birthday she tried to kill herself as you know. And we can't stop it. I think it's the side effect of the trama. She doesn't remeber but she is determined to kill herself. We need your help, we need her to stop. She's my baby," said my mom breaking down into sobs. "We don't know what to do she will do it, and it's only a matter of time before she sucedes," said the doctor. I heard the door open and didn't open my eyes. "My poor baby, she has no idea, but it's for the best said my mom stroking my hair sitting on the edge of the bed.
http://starsadventuresatcamphalfblood.blogspot.com
This is the song that helped inspire this new story.
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